Recently, there was an article on Jezebel on “How to Keep Your Ex from Popping Up All Over Facebook.”
It went into great detail, describing how you could tweak your settings so your former flame wouldn’t show up in” your news feed, profile updates, photo updates, suggested photo albums, and Facebook Chat.”
But they’d still officially be your “friend.”
I think this is kinda like declaring you’re a vegetarian and cleaning out your fridge, never walking by a butcher’s shop and refusing to attend Christmas dinner if turkey’s on the menu, BUT…BUT!…keeping a big freakin’ slab of beef in the back of your freezer. You know, just in case.
The emotional ramifications of fresh technology like Facebook are only just beginning to surface. There is no etiquette and no tried n’ tested way of dealing with issues like exes, frenemies and bosses. But maybe there should be.
I say: axe exes from Facebook. As a rule.
Think about it: when our parents and grandparents broke up with someone, it was over. They moved on. Imagine your mom’s old boyfriend mailing her photos from his vacations for years and years. Or your dad’s ex-wife calling to say “lookin’ good” then hanging up.
When it comes to the end of relationships, Facebook and texting make it easy to say something regrettable and embarrassing (particularly when you’re sozzled). We’ve all seen those cringe-worthy statuses aimed at an ex, a la “Cindy is wondering why she always gets the short end of the stick…and in this case, she really means short!!!!!!” Is that something you want to read if you are said short-schlonged dumper?
And what of the: “we’re friends, it was mutual” argument? Fiddlesticks! Breakups are rarely balanced. There’s always one side pining, and that side is going to be obsessively checking the other’s Facebook page for signs of a new flirtation (c’mon, you know you’ve done it). “Sarah Scott LIKES his profile photo? That BITCH!”
This notion that de-friending someone is “mean” or “hurtful” is preposterous. There’s nothing wrong with sending a quick note to your ex saying “hey, no hard feelings but since we broke up I think it’s best to keep our relationship off of Facebook.”
De-friending on Facebook doesn’t mean you won’t stop and say “hello” on the street. In fact, the hello might be all the more cordial if you don’t know about the five girlfriends he’s had since your breakup…last month.
What do you think about this? Discuss!