The beach was nice. Ditto for ice cream cones. But that week each summer when my dad splurged on MuchMusic and SuperChannel was practically transcendent.
It gave this small town girl a glimpse into the Canadian epicentre of cool – MuchMusic HQ in Toronto. Suddenly, Madonna, Michael Jackson and Rick Astley (I thought he was smokin’ hot) were in our home. And, right in there amongst those mega pop stars, was VJ Erica Ehm. She came across like your most awesome babysitter - the one who is allowed to wear crop tops, makeup and floppy hats. Even my dad knew her name.
Rather than cling to that earlier version of herself (and ’80s hair, as many unfortunate heads do), Erica has changed with both the times and her personal milestones. Now 50, she continues to be a voice for her generation – this time, as the ultimate mommy blogger. Erica, mom of two, is at the helm of Yummy Mummy Club, a website that has recently had a very snazzy makeover. I’m seriously digging the design.
I sat down with Erica at the BlogHer conference in San Diego in August to find out more about her site and mommy blogging in general.
What inspired you to go ahead with this site in the first place?
When I had my son, it really threw me for a loop. I wasn’t prepared for life as a mother. I experienced probably most of the same difficulties that every other mom experiences – I was in shock and I felt very isolated.
I also felt like everyone else around me was such a good mother and yet I couldn’t figure it out. Then when I started to secretly speak to other moms in supermarkets and other places that moms hang out, I discovered that most of them were experiencing many of the same difficulties that I was but everybody was acting like they were okay. So I wanted to start a website called “The Secrets of the Yummy Mummy Club” because so many women keep their challenges to themselves. We say it’s okay not to be perfect and it’s okay to feel like you’re failing, because you’re not. Once they understand that we all feel the same then they’re not alone and they get on with their lives and feel better about themselves.
You have a blog component on your site. Tell me about it.
I’ve always had a place on the site where I could talk about my own experiences as a mother, but also as an entrepreneur because I think those are equal parts in my life. I call the blog “Exposed” because sometimes I expose the inner workings of a website and the inner workings of a mother’s brain.
What are the key themes in the site and in your blog?
I guess key themes are the power of imperfection, the absurdity of motherhood, the power of being a mother, the importance of girlfriends, the stress of parenting, the search for love, the deep love mothers and fathers have for their children that can feel like your’e going to die at times and the ongoing search for information to solve the ongoing dilemmas and concerns about children.
How do you juggle your job and motherhood?
I’m happy knowing that I’m not perfect. I don’t put that stress on myself. My family loves and supports me and they love watching my passion for what I do. My kids are very happy. I listen to them and I help encourage them with their own passions. My husband is also similar to me – he’s an entrepreneur and runs a crazy business. I have a very supportive family and I think that’s how I’m able to, in many ways, have it all. Just not at the same time.
There are a lot of motherhood-themed blogs out there. Is there room for all of them?
The more I see how many blogs are out there, I wonder if there is enough for everyone. But as my husband has so eloquently put it, “there’s a seat for every toilet.” And I think that every woman has their own personal point of view. Some of them will be very micro and only a few people will relate to it. And there are other people who will really hit a nerve and attract a larger audience. But that’s the beauty of blogging, that anyone now has the power to broadcast their voice and it’s up to them to get heard.
What goes into a really good blog about motherhood? What would you suggest to someone who might be reading this at home and is considering starting one?
You need to be a good writer. And you need to be able to use words to articulate the conflicting emotions that you, no doubt, are going through. And you need to be able to identify the emotions as you’re experiencing them. Perhaps you have insight that other women could find helpful. Most times, women are going through things that are universal, so if it’s true for them, I’m sure other women can relate to it. And you have to tell the truth. It’s the blogs and websites that are most true that really cut through and resonate with readers.
Do you find it hard to decide what to reveal and what to keep private?
Yeah, I do. And I think that’s a very important lesson for women: when you blog about something, you need to be aware that anyone can read it at any time. I’m not worried about people judging me, but I’m worried about the effect that it will have on the people in my life and the people that I write about. And sometimes people don’t think about that when they write.
There’s been a lot of discussion in the blogosphere and on Twitter about parents whose kids are now 10, 11 years old. They’ve been tweeting and blogging about their kids for many years, and they are just coming to the realization that “oh my god, my kids can now read the posts that I’m writing about them.” So a lot of moms have stopped writing about their kids, which is great, because it’s no one’s business and their friends can google their names and find embarrassing stories about them, etc.
So I am very, very careful about what I write and I always stand behind what I write. Don’t forget, I was on TV for 20 years, so I learned very early on to watch my mouth and to be very careful about what I say. I used to walk around with a microphone that was live for four hours a day but I was only on air for two minutes, then off air for twelve. So I had a mic that was potentially live for twelve minutes. I learned to turn my mic off and test it twice before I spoke in my real life, in the office. And I use that same attention when I write my blogs.
I think a lot of women have regrets now that they’ve gone a little bit too far.
So, as your son approaches adolescence, how will you pull it back?
I’m just very respectful of my son. For example, I wrote a blog a couple of months ago about these paintball parties. I dropped my son off at a paintball party where they’re surrounded by adults in camouflage holding these huge, lifelike rifles. Yes they shoot paint, but they’re playing war and I was very uncomfortable. So I wrote about that experience, and when he came home form the party I showed him the blog. He read it, he looked at me and he smiled because it wasn’t embarrassing for him. It was my point of view on people in general, but it sparked a good conversation with us.
So I use it as a means of conversation, but I would never write anything that was slightly embarrassing. It’s no one’s business.
Do you have any crazy mom stalkers as a result of the site?
No. I wish I did. Come stalk me, that would be awesome! The more stalkers the better.
You’re going to regret that you said that.
No, I think, really, the website is an online community. And it’s moms who experience the same things together. So I love it when I get to meet women with kids, anywhere and everywhere. That’s why I do it; that’s why I love it. I don’t love it for the technology, trust me. It’s for the real moms that are all in the same boat as me.
