Fashion and Beauty

I’m Going Steady with a New Purse

by Reb Stevenson on March 7, 2012

After many years of trying to convince myself otherwise, I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I’m a purse monogamist.

Not only is amassing a menagerie of handbags expensive – I couldn’t possibly be bothered to transfer my wallet, keys and loose Lifesavers to a new bag on a regular basis.

So, recently, when my latest common law purse showed signs of wanting to break up (read: cracks and general embarrassing shabbiness), I started looking for a new main squeeze. Attraction didn’t come easily. At times I even doubted my gender (am I really a woman if I can’t seem to get aroused by purses?).

Like a man, I wanted something utilitarian. Like a man, I don’t get that signature Louis Vuitton pattern. At. All. But unlike a man, I didn’t actually want a “murse” or “mansatchel.” I did want a purse that would be at home toting lipstick and the odd tampon.

So determined was I to get the right purse that I was actually carrying my crap in a plastic shopping bag when I walked into Cusp Boutique in Victoria. And there, I saw the bag. Actually, I saw a few bags and they were all splendidly functional and attractive. I felt like a new woman.

Even better: they were made from recycled leather. By a local artist. Boo-o-om. The match was made.

Supporting local business is something I firmly believe in, and on the selfish side, I score something that’s one-of-a-kind!

What is super rad about the purse is that that strap is adjustable; you can either wear it slung over your shoulder messenger-style, or you can shorten it and wear it under your arm.

The company that made it is called Vagabond – please check out Vagabond’s Facebook page here.

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Four Eyed and Fashionable

by Reb Stevenson on January 17, 2012

Some fashionistas wouldn’t blink if I told them I was wearing fake glasses just for the look of it.

But I’d feel like a right idiot wearing frames with window-grade glass in them. Or worse – no glass at all. What’s next on the catwalk, casts and slings?

And yet there is a part of me that yearns for the facial versatility associated with glasses. Look at what specs did for Clark Kent / Superman (they were the same guy! Surprised the heck out of me when I read that online just now). So, when I started getting near-fatal headaches after looking at the computer for too long, I was all like “YESSSSS!”

I subsequently hauled myself to an optometrist for the very first time, where I had to stick my head into some futuristic contraptions. One of them puffed air into my eye. Another photographed my retinas.

I have to say, it wasn’t entirely natural, the act of submissively offering up these sensitive gooey spheres. You don’t realize how much you’re relying on ‘em (to tell you whether an axe is hurtling at your head at any given time, for instance) until you’re opening them wide for a machine that, for all you know, is about to spew nails or lazers at them.

The good people at this optometry joint even emailed me pictures of my retinas (above). You can have them printed and framed, so that in the future if you go blind you can reminisce about how beautiful they were in the “good ole days”…oh wait…

There was the classic “read the alphabet” test while the optometrist adjusted some lenses. You have to remember that this isn’t a competitive sport. “Hang on, just give me another minute…I think it’s a…P? Or a picture of a trumpet? There’s nothing there, is there? Is this a trick? By the way, your shoelace is untied. Yeah, that’s right get down there and sort that ou – it’s an E! It’s an EEEEEEE!”

The drops that make your pupil dilate were quite trippy. I couldn’t read anything near my face for several hours. “So this is how visually impaired people feel. Dammit, where’s my piano?” I could have written a hit, I just know it.

After all that, the optometrist told me I could get a very light prescription for 1) when I’m at the computer b) driving at night. The way she said it made it sound optional. This, of course, means I AM going to get them, so I can shoot sexy “repressed librarian” looks at my wall when I’m buried in my office for hours.

The question is, what type should I get?

Horn-rimmed?