Guy Stuff

It's a Shoe Inn!

Fluevog Porter Shoe at Opus Hotels
In an attempt to stay one step ahead of the competition, Opus Hotels has paired legendary Vancouver footwear artist John Fluevog with its valets and bellboys. The result? A sassy pink-and-black shoe that will henceforth be known as The Opus Hotels Porter Shoe. All porters at Opus’ Vancouver and Montreal locations now sport the custom made footgear while they work.
Opus is known for chic, creative flair (rooms are designed around five fictional “lifestyle concierges named Mike, Billy, Pierre, Susan and Dede) while Fluevog has been an eccentric fashion icon on the West Coast for decades.
“Both organizations have a loyal following and neither are afraid of a splash, a dash or a pop here and there,” says Fluevog.
What’s more is, unlike most hotel uniforms, The Porter Shoe is not mere eye candy: guests can purchase a pair of their own from the mini bar menu for $329.
For more information, visit
www.opushotel.com or www.fluevog.com
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Gear: Grin Envy

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Canadian-based Tilley Endurables’ new “Briefs with a Grin” for men claim to be smiling. But, really, it’s more like a smirk, isn’t it? These lightweight, moisture-wicking tighty whities are laughing in the faces of women everywhere. Why the taunting? Because they offer the male species an action that gals will never be able to duplicate: quick and easy access to the goods when nature comes a-calling. There’s more, too: the skivvies can be washed in the hotel sink and hung to dry overnight. Plus, they’re sweat, stain, odor and bacteria resistant. Oh they’re so smug!
$20 at www.tilley.com
From my travel gear column in Citizen
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The Holiday Mullet

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A few weeks ago, my little brother Jacob announced that he was going to light up the Christmas table with a disgusting “Holiday Mullet.”
(Cue communal groan from the family).

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He had been growing his mane for months, and it recently reached the already abhorrent Eddie Vedder stage. I could practically smell the rotting Doc Martens when he flipped his shoulder length, greasy locks.
Jacob’s reasoning for recklessly succumbing to the scissors was this: “I want to shock all the old friends I haven’t seen for ages when I go home for the holidays. They’ll think I’ve turned into a total redneck! HAHAHAHA!”
You have to admire the dedication.
At Victoria’s Salon Astoria, the stylist couldn’t stop giggling as she removed large wads of hair from the sides and top of Jacob’s head. She almost seemed guilty. At one point, she declared “this is seriously unfortunate.” But nonetheless, Jacob emerged with the embarrassing ‘do that he desired.
Where to test out the hockey hair? Why, the arena of course! On boxing day, we moseyed on down to the Parksville Arena and strapped on the hockey skates. But, really, the fact that it was a “Winter Wonderland” family skate didn’t really do much for the hair’s toughness factor. Nobody did a double-take or tripped on their skates. Maybe he should have enhanced the effect with a six pack of brewskies and a few choice swear words directed at kids. Coulda, woulda, shoulda...
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Just when we thought the mullet may have been for naught, salvation came...in the form of playable drum and guitar t-shirts (which you may remember from THIS blog). My brother Zach (right) got these from www.thinkgeek.com and the random, distortion laden music they produced was just as hideous as Jacob’s noggin. Isn’t it lovely when things come together like that? I dare say it’s a Christmas miracle!
*inserts ear plugs*

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Gift Idea for Male Species: Interactive T-Shirts!

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Admittedly, we girls have PMS, say cryptic things and expect men to read our minds about 90 per cent of the time. But you know what, guys? YOU are hard to shop for.
So there!!!!!!!!!!!!
Luckily, there’s this awesome website called
www.thinkgeek.com that offers all kinds of funky gifts for the omnipresent male inner child. I get an extra large kick out of their set of interactive t-shirts, such as the Personal Speaker Shirt, WiFi Detector Shirt and the (all-new) Electronic Rock Guitar Shirt. Battery powered? Yes. Hilarious? Yes. Annoying? You know it.
But after looking at these, how can you possibly give soap on a rope again?


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